一昨日、「自分の英作文をプロのネイティヴの方に校正してもらったらどの程度間違いがあるか」とお話しました。早速ですが昨晩、fiverrというウェブサービスで校正をしてくれる方を探し添削をしてもらいました。1つのエッセイが10ドル＋手数料（1,500円前後）でした。まあ妥当な金額ですね。まずは添削前のエッセイと添削後のエッセイを比較したいと思います。
添削前
Agriculture is an essential part of civilization. It is estimated that about 40 percent of our planet is farmland and it is expanding to feed growing populations at the expense of forests, wildlife and water. It is true that the global agricultural system would collapse if nothing is to be done, however, human beings have realized the situation they are in and worked hard to make agriculture more sustainable.
Growing and transporting crops create lots of carbon emissions in the process. Therefore, reducing food miles, the distance between where crops are produced and where they are sold, is significantly important. Vertical farming can be a solution. Vertical farming is a way crops are grown inside a building in the city or in the suburbs of the city. In addition to reducing food miles, there are some other benefits such as a stable food supply all year round and using less water or no pesticides, all of which are critical factors for sustainable farming.
Adoption of technology is also key to sustainable farming. For example, field robots can apply fertilizers in targeted doses. In addition, sensors in the soil can gather data on nutrients and water levels. This information reduces unnecessary water use. All these technologies would help farmers to produce food in a way that works with the environment.
Soil has an inherent ability to capture and store carbon from the atmosphere. This natural process plays a vital role in forming healthy ecosystems and this can be applied to a farming practice. This method of farming is called regenerative farming and the method is spreading all over the world due to its potential not only to improve food quality but also to reverse climate change.
As mentioned above, technology has changed farming and farming today, in fact, succeeds in reducing food costs, labor costs and environmental costs.
添削後
イントロ
Agriculture is an essential part of civilization. It is estimated that about 40 percent of our planet is farmland, and it is expanding to feed growing populations at the expense of forests, wildlife, and water. The global agricultural system would indeed collapse if nothing was done; however, human beings have realized the situation they are in and worked hard to make agriculture more sustainable.
仮定法の間違いとセミコロンの間違いが1つずつでした。このwasは前のwouldの仮定法の影響を受けwasにするかどうか悩みました。崩壊するのは実現性が低いので仮定法になるのでしょうが、何事もなされていないわけではないので後半は直説法にしましたがやはり仮定法の基本に合わせておくべきでしたね。AIの添削でも修正が入っていました。
ボディ①
Growing and transporting crops creates lots of carbon emissions in the process. Therefore, reducing food miles—the distance between where crops are produced and where they are sold—is significantly important. Vertical farming can be a solution. Vertical farming is a method of growing crops inside a building in the city or suburbs. Aside from reducing food miles, there are some other advantages, such as having a consistent food supply all year and using less water or no pesticides, all of which are important factors in sustainable farming.
修正が多かったですが、致命的な間違いとしてはcreatesの3人称単数のs抜けくらいだろうと思います。このsもかなり悩みましたね。Growing A and transporting Bのような形になっていれば複数形になるのはすぐにわかるのですが、Growing and transporting Aとした場合に単数になるか複数になるかは…難しかったです。こちらもAIでチェックした際に修正が入っていました。
ボディ②
The adoption of technology is also key to sustainable farming. For example, field robots can apply fertilizers in targeted doses. In addition, sensors in the soil can gather data on nutrients and water levels. This information reduces unnecessary water use. All these technologies would help farmers produce food in a way that works for the environment.
The adoption of technologyは冠詞を使わずに使う場合が多いのではないかと思いますが修正が入っていました。helpはto不定詞でも原形不定詞でも使うことができますが、ここもAIの修正が入っていたのでそれに合わせて修正してくれているのだと思います。ボディ②に関してはほとんど間違いがなかったと思います。
ボディ③
Soil has an inherent ability to capture and store carbon from the atmosphere. This natural process plays a vital role in forming healthy ecosystems, and this can be applied to farming practices. This method of farming is called "regenerative farming," and the method is spreading all over the world due to its potential not only to improve food quality but also to reverse climate change.
a farming practiceからfarming practicesに修正が入っていましたが、この間違いは自分では気づくことができないですね。後はコンマの使い方で修正が入っていました。ボディ③に関してもほとんど間違いはありませんでした。
コンクルージョン
As mentioned above, technology has changed farming, and farming today succeeds in reducing food costs, labor costs, and environmental costs.
自己採点
明らかな間違いは3人称単数の間違いが1つ、仮定法の間違いが1つ。単語にいくつかの修正が入っていたのでそれぞれで-1点ずつとして30/32点としました。採点者によっては＋1点となる場合もあるかもしれませんし－1点になる場合もあるかもしれませんが、極端に点数が離れることはないだろうと思います。
- 内容 8/8
- 構成 8/8
- 文法 7/8
- 語彙 7/8
もう1名別の方にも添削をお願いする予定です。